miércoles, 25 de junio de 2008

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El de i'm complicated es uno de los juegos que más difícil me resulta no jugar. Pero en un punto te ponés a pensar y mi psiquis no es mucho más compleja que la de cualquier mortal. Yo pendulo entre un estado que llamaremos a (cuánto tiene esta fase de armonía auténtica y cuánto de armonía sostenida artificial e inconscientemente es algo que escapa a los objetivos de este trabajo) y un estado que llamaremos b. La transición entre a y b suele cualquier cosa menos clara, pero con el correr de los años adquirís una vaga certeza sobre una serie de síntomas y signos que suelen precederla y empezás a ver que por lo general durante b fabricás bisagras, escupís algo que venías masticando hace tiempo, cosas así.

Los indicios de ese paso son poco específicos, pero ponéle que escucho mucho Radiohead, me atoro de ópera, uso una prenda determinada hasta gastarla, tengo cambios radicales de humor que me hacen pensar en un tumor en la hipófisis que me desencadena trastornos hormonales, cambio mis hábitos de consumo, me molesta leer el diario, me muero de la alergia, mi ego baja del noveno al séptimo piso, no sé.

Durante b y una vez atravesada la ruptura es común que a partir de un desencadenante X derive y concentre energías físicas y psíquicas en uno o dos elementos puntuales. Suponéte, entonces, que un día me desayuno con una homosexualidad y entonces en un par de días te vomito unos puntodocs para una novela con título ñoño que me prometí terminar alguna día; le pongo a un año de la carrera un post it que dice "pendiente de recursar" para enamorarme profundamente; retomo terapia después de dos años y te rindo dos finales de los pesaditos en tres días sin morir demasiado en el intento; veo una película y al día siguiente renuncio al trabajo; leo un par de capítulos de Bolaño que me sacuden la estantería y me gasto la mitad del sueldo en una tarde; paso por una crisis de pareja y dejo de poder escuchar una canción de Drexler sin que una tuerca como de tractor me baje por la tráquea; cosas así. Ahora, claro, sólo me doy cuenta de que estaba en b y de sus consecuencias cuando ya estoy de vuelta en la tranquilidad de a.

El punto es, yo no sé muy bien o no quiero saber qué se viene. Pero hace unos días que en mi Now Playing OK Computer suena en loop y la Callas no para de aullar Un bel di vedremo; y ese suéter celestito está haciendo de comodín. Stay tuned.

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"yo pendulo"







mis reverencias.

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ok computer es el disco de la parte reflexiva y llorona, of course
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ésa que dicedeja que el tiempo cure..no la pude escuchar por años porq me hacía remembrar a mi ex amor de la vida...
y ok computer y a rush of blood to the head
discos troncales para mi....
yo estoy entrando en ua etapa c en la que puedo estar feliz y consciente en mi cuerpito, y escucho radiohead, drexler, spinetta y tuve q hacer un lugar en mi estante para sumarle los de divididoss, hendrix y zeppelin que trajo mi novio copado

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